For the Time Being...
I'm sitting in here again, day six. Even though the work hours are very light at this time because business is down, I gave today's shift to a co-worker. I still haven't had a proper nights sleep. I'm really feeling it today. I have no energy and almost feel drunk. If I don't get sleep soon....
It is hard to see your child in a hospital bed, even if they are 21 and just resting and waiting to give birth. The doctor has estimated the babies weight to be around six pounds, and after the ultrasound they did when she arrived at the hospital they let her know it's a girl. The waiting is the hard part. Her room is in front right by the nurses station and she has already watched several families come through the door, scream for a while and leave the next morning with a newborn mewing softly like a kitten. I'm exhausted and she is bored. My husband is tense and sleep deprived as well. There is just too much to do, too much to be accomplished, and too little money coming in to the household. Okay, that's enough of me complaining.
I should never had said anything when I did, but a year and a half ago I bragged about becoming debt free within a few months. I was so excited about my shrinking debt that I had to share. The bills were dwindling, the student loan was finally off my back and there was just one credit card. That's when Chloe (our dog) became even more ill. She needed hospitalization and more frequent medication and a very expensive specialized diet. I'm not complaining because she needed it and it had to be done, she was family after all. Too frequently there wasn't enough cash to cover her care and quite a bit of it went on credit. We even opened a new account for her final hospitalization thinking a miracle would be performed that would buy us a little more time with her. I'm not upset I used credit at all, I just feel I may have jinxed myself a bit by calling myself almost debt free too soon.
I keep track of my total debt each month and I can almost taste it. When I saw $1500.00 in black ink I smiled. Soon after I was giddy when I wrote the figure of $1200.00. Now it is at $869.00 and I am trying to get rid of it as soon as possible. I can't wait to see zero.
I know that I will never remain debt free forever. There are some large ticket items that I may need to purchase on credit. Recently I decided to see how good my credit was and see if I qualified for a loan. I know, I really should reach zero first, and there is a lot going on in my household, but... I have wanted an RV for a long time.
I want an RV with a burning passion. I wouldn't mind living small, and I want more travel in my life. We can do the types of jobs we do anywhere. Also at this point with a full house, a night owl two year old, and soon to be a squalling newborn, it would be really nice just to park it in the driveway and get a full nights sleep.
We went to the dealership just to look, and then we fell in love. We test drove, discussed, and then decided to fill out the paperwork just to test the waters and see what shape our credit is in now. We had a bankruptcy in the past because of a bad housing decision, and poor budgeting choices. I had no idea where we stood credit wise. Turns out we were at 710 and 719, not bad but still too close to the bankruptcy so we were turned down. They said if we tried again in a few months we could probably be approved. It's okay because it's nice to know we are almost where we want to be.
I plan to try again in six months to a year and have it paid off before we do any extensive traveling. It may keep us here longer in the land of no jobs and low pay, but I don't want to take a chance and go anywhere when I have more than just a few thousand in debt to keep up with, unless of course I have a fabulous job waiting for me.
My husband tells me to stop lusting over RV's. He tells me I stare at them when we pass one on the road, and I need to quit. Sigh, I'll have one one day.