Suckerpunched

I am privy to "top secret" information that I am definitely not supposed to know. It was lucky that one of the lower level managers overheard a conversation and came to me with the information. I am stunned at this point, just numb and wondering what to do first. This changes my plans to some manner. The store I work in will be closing in January. According to the conversation it's a done deal and they will not be telling the employees until the end. There have been lots of corporate visits and locked door meetings in the managers office. You can tell something is up.

This month I will be debt free, so I have finances in line. My savings are not big enough to sustain me for a prolonged period in my current housing. I don't have a fancy place, just a cheap rental house. I would definitely have to downgrade if I were to survive a longer period of unemployment.

I had a job offer as soon as I mentioned this to a friend of mine. She said she knew how I worked and I would have the part time job in a second but it is in another county and I would have to purchase another vehicle first. I know this position will probably be filled before I have a vehicle lined up. There are a few other part time positions here and there but none close to home. Savings will have to give way to more transportation and we may have to move.

The last family meeting we had, I suggested a move out date of October 2012 and everyone agreed. They are not ready yet. I have to consider my son and daughter who have jobs here but not enough money saved to move on. This is a dilemma I didn't anticipate. I was expecting to keep doing the same thing until October and then make plans to do something completely different.

I've worked part time for so long, and the hours have been so low that unemployment would not be enough to live on if I were unemployed for an extended period. I feel I have to make some fast changes to stay afloat.

I've always been the one at the counter cashing the unemployment checks for my customers and offering words of encouragement. I've always said, "This is a great job during the recession because people still eat." My stomach is in knots and my mind is reciting that famous speech/poem "First they came..." because that is how I feel at the time.

First they came for the construction workers,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a construction worker.

Then they came for the factory workers,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a factory worker.

Then they came for the office workers,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't an office worker.

Then they came for me,
and there was no-one left to speak out.

I know, totally tacky to steal that quote. It was from a much more devastating time and my worries are tiny compared to what was faced by so many back then. That just sums up how I feel about the situation in general. I have been affected by the recession previously but not as much as so many others have. So many more have lost work and not been able to find work. Many have lost their savings, their home, their health. I feel I've been almost smug thinking it wouldn't happen to me. I felt safe in my little nook waiting for better times to arrive so I could jump off into something else. Now I have to rethink everything and create swift new plans.

I'm at the edge of the pool of unemployment dragging my big toe through the water, waiting to dive in. Those of you already having a swim, "How's the water?"