I'm in the break room at my job eating cookies with a vengeance and writing my blog by hand on a paper towel. I couldn't be more miserable. I know I have to make changes and soon! I'm not sure at this time whether these changes will involve sprucing up my resume and taking a job somewhere else, or whether I will move or just step down from the higher position (if they will let me) at my current company. The hours are longer and they expect you to accomplish too much in too short a period of time. In addition they expect you to cashier and bag groceries as needed and keep up with your own tasks. I am fast and professional however, I can not do it all in the amount of time given. It takes a great burst of adrenalin to get most of the work done to get out on time. If you are not done in with the safe and the office locked and alarms set by an hour after closing you will be written up. If you leave some paperwork for the morning shift to complete so you get out without a writeup the morning shift will gossip about what a lousy worker you are with everyone in the morning. When you arrive for your next shift everyone greats you with a sad little smile and a twinkle in their eye and asks, "What happened last night?" You end up explaining how busy it was, how many rude drunks came in, and how far behind you were, as if it was every ones business in the first place. I have worked in retail for many years much of it in management so I know how to accomplish tasks quickly and I do have time management skills. It is just a bizarre situation at this time.
All of this brings me once again to why I haven't written. At first I was just numb after my dad passed and now I'm just completely exhausted. I'm sad and tired all the time. I don't want my blog to become a collection of writings about how life sucks. That isn't what it's meant to be. I don't want to bore anyone or bombard my readers with constant negative posts.
I do have some wonderful news in the near future. I don't want to jinx it so I'm not telling yet. I have many decisions to make and my mind is swirling with all of the possibilities. Of course, I am really concentrating on the craziest idea I came up with and daydreaming away big time. I almost have my husband convinced that my crazy idea is the choice to make. I won't be able to hold it in for long, I just want to wallow in my nuttiness a while longer before everyone tells me I'm crazy.
Thank you all for reading and for all the warm comments during my recent difficulties. I'm not sure which direction I'll be traveling but it sure is wonderful to have you along for the journey.