Where Has She Been?

Working, and cooking, and catering to a demanding dog, that's it. I've worked several odd shifts and after chores about the house just haven't had enough energy to post. Finally, tonight as beans boil in a pot, and a homemade apple pie bakes in the oven I feel I can spend a few moments catching up. I always feel so guilty when I am away for long periods, but I realize I do need sleep and sanity.

There is cause for celebration in the working poor household. This month I made the final payment to Lowe's for our washer/dryer. If you need an appliance I highly recommend going to a store like this when there is a six or twelve month no interest special. The prices are much better than those rent to own places and if you pay enough each month there is no interest. It's well worth it not to cut into your savings, if you have any left, and not having to pay a credit card company extra fees.

Speaking of rent to own stores...have you done the math? Next time you get one of their flyer's in your mailbox notice what products they offer, and multiply those payment amounts by the number of payments. Look for similar products in a department store. The price once all the payments have been made is sometimes as much as twice what the product sells for elsewhere. In my opinion they take advantage of the poor and ill-informed.

That's it for my brief update and rant. I may be on a more even schedule this week and back on track.

Handy Hints for Communal Living

As the economy continues its downward spiral more and more people are moving in together out of necessity. I've been in similar situations myself. Some of them worked out and others did not. This is one of the ways that homeless people can find themselves completely homeless. When friends or family become completely aggravated with the close quarters or duelling personalities tempers flare and agreements erode.

Now I am older I have become the host. My youngest daughter stays with me occasionally and my son stayed for a while. I just learned that my eldest daughter is 99% sure that she want to move in for a while. It will be wonderful to have her and the grand baby here, still with that many in the house we will have to be very organized and tidy. Of course moving in as an adult will be completely different, hopefully, than when you were a child.

With thoughts of living arrangements changing, and extended family and friends bunking together to avoid complete homelessness I arranged a list of ideas to make the transition go smoother. I know I'll get comments with more ideas. You guys are good like that.

Handy Hints for Communal Living:

1) Tidiness. An extreme neat freak will have a difficult time sharing their home with anyone. For the rest of us, help keep the home picked up, vacuumed, smelling nice, etc... Take some spare time and mow the yard or dust the TV and polish the furniture. Tempers are less likely to flare if the home is even cleaner now that you are there. Believe me, it will be greatly appreciated.

2) Quiet times. Know the schedules of all family members. Even if your sisters husband, who has to leave at five AM for work, says your TV viewing until two AM doesn't bother him, he may just be trying to be polite. Some people may work all night and sleep through the afternoon. Respecting others schedules and being quiet when it is needed will go a long way towards keeping the peace. Just ask my insomniac husband who can hear a flea cough on a neighbors dog three streets away.

3) Special skills. One household member is a gourmet cook, while another can make the bathroom sparkle. One person may help out with dog walks, or litter box clean-up. One person may be a home energy expert and can switch out the light bulbs, or install weather stripping. Get it? Everyone has a special skill that they can contribute to the household.

4)Respect. Uncle Harvey may have odd bathroom habits. As much as you want to, don't do your impression of him gargling. Claudine may wear mismatched outfits but don't insert your opinion. Remember this is their house and try to make it as pleasant for them as possible.

5) Arguments. When problems do arise, do not deteriorate into shouting matches. Have a house meeting and deal with it. Compromise, and make a list of house rules if you have to, just don't fight. Shouting will not help anyone.

6) Privacy. Being cooped up for long periods with friends or family you used to just see occasionally may be fun at first and then become difficult. Before relationships become strained, give one another some space. Take a picnic and enjoy a day at the park. Give your family some time away from the house and give the homeowner some time alone in their own home as well.

7) Adult children. Treat adult children as adults. This is simple, Suzie may still be your daughter but she is also a grown woman. Remember this when she is making her own decisions. Also, if you are the child, remember you are grown and don't revert back to the sullen teen in tense times.

8) Cleaning. I know I mentioned this earlier but it is a big one. How much each person does will really depend on how much they work, how much the homeowner wants you to do and so on. If you are staying with someone and you have time though, clean a lot and show your appreciation. It will go far in smoothing a rocky road.

9) Common rooms. Preserve the original function of common rooms. If you are staying in the living room or den, tidy up each morning. Clear the couch, roll up your bedroll, and pack your clothes away. If Aunt Dolly can still sit in her favorite chair and watch her soaps she will be less stressed. No one wants to eat their breakfast while looking at your dirty underwear. Pick it up and keep the home stress free.

10) Budget. Your money situation will be strained, after all that's why your moving in together right? Be very careful with your money so you can get out of this situation as soon as possible. Don't rely on the homeowner to foot the bill for everything though, unless you have no choice. Buy some groceries, or cleaning products, or pay the light bill, whatever works for you. If you have special budgeting skills to share, do so. This is a team effort.

10-10-10 Happy Birthday Dad!

Today would have been my Dad's 88th birthday. He loved a party and I know he would have had a great time celebrating on 10-10-10. He would have worn a paper party hat, played cards, and had a large serving of cake and ice cream (butter pecan was his favorite.)

I'm glad I was able to spend a small amount of time with my dad before he passed.

I'm grateful I was able to write my dad's obituary.

My dad was a coupon clipper and rebater. He stretched his money farther than anyone I've ever heard of. Without realizing it at the time, my after work shopping was sort of a tribute to him. I bought two large tuna pouches, and two Bumble Bee tuna sensations lunch packs for seventy one cents. Thanks Dad.

Six Degrees from Homeless

Many of the working poor are just a few paychecks away from homelessness. Those with savings can last a little longer. Have you given thought to how long you would last if you lost your income and had no other source of money? I would be able to survive about two months on my savings, and I have very few bills. If it was so bad and we had to dip into our retirement account we could go another three months maybe, if we really economized.

Now, take a moment to think of those on public assistance. Their children can get free lunch at school, some of them receive medicaid to help with doctor visits, a very few receive cash assistance or housing help. How far can they get before things turn bad?

So many people become homeless through no fault of their own, a dispute with a family member, the loss of a job, an illness... The reasons, or circumstances are endless.

Lately, there's been many mentions of the homeless in the news. With the recession still going strong, despite what our government is telling us, and homeowners still facing foreclosures it is a growing reality.

Once again, while working, the headlines came to greet me. A young girl approached the counter and asked if she could borrow my phone to call her daddy. As soon as she got that first sentence out she burst into tears. She said she was fourteen years old and her mother had just kicked her out and she was scared.

My heart broke, what could I do? I kept an eye on her and made sure it was her father that picked her up. Of course, I don't know the entire story. You actually see a lot when you work with the public.

So many people have lost the ability to imagine. They are unable to put themselves in another persons shoes. Keep your compassion well exercised and remember to daydream often so you can see another point of view.

Blame it on Bach, A Scatterered Mind and Life at the Bottom

I'm reading "The Salmon of Doubt" by Douglas Adams in little snippets on breaks and in the car when I am waiting on someone. I've saved this read until now because it is the last Douglas Adams I will be able to read. He died way too young. In this book are all of his brief writings, introductions to other books, magazine articles and such. One of these is his ode to Bach's Fifth Brandenburg Concerto and that is the tune that has been running through my head for several days. What does this have to do with my blog? Well nothing really, but it does describe the scattered state of my mind. Every time I start to have a thought, here comes Bach.

Paula at Monroe on a Budget had an article this morning that's been on my mind all day.
see story here
The article is about how stores are gearing their sales to coincide with the food stamp shoppers who seem to shop all at once when their benefits are placed on their cards. Some of the shoppers wait around in Walmart until midnight so they can make a purchase the very moment they get their money.

I work in a grocery store and I do notice people seem to come in all at once. I had one customer today who shopped with her two young daughters. She handed me the empty containers to scan first because they ate a bowl of fruit and drank a soda. One girl handed me a yogurt and asked me to hand it right back because she wanted it now, and her sister handed me half a block of cheese with teeth marks in it so I could scan it and hand it back. I laughed because I see children all the time acting like they are starving because they are in the store. My own kids did it and I bet yours did too. This afternoon this story was on my mind and I wondered if maybe they had gone a day or two without before their benefits kicked in.

I personally know what it it like. I received food stamps decades ago when they were paper. I never shopped all at once and went without at the end of the month because I have always cooked from scratch and had a pantry most of the time. I was on them because I had to at the time. I wasn't forever but it felt dreadful. It was very little and it had to be stretched very carefully.

You used to have to stand in a long line to pick up food stamps. There were no snazzy cards back in the dark ages. One time the line stretched out the door and along the side of the building facing the highway. There was an older man in front of me and in front of him was a woman leaning on her crutches with bandaged arms, wearing a neck brace, with a cast from foot to upper thigh. Someone leaned out of their small brown pickup truck and yelled "Get a Job!" The older man and several others murmured "I wish I had a Job." I'll never forget the look on the woman's face as she twisted painfully on her crutches to look at the vehicle.

Being poor may suck but being even poorer sucks worse. It's not so bad being a member of the working poor. I've been worse off in the past. Don't know if I can bring myself to write about the dark times, but I will say things can always improve and it won't always be like this. The hard times may pass but we must remember what they were like so we can remind ourselves to save and keep a frugal mindset so we can prosper in the future.

Empathy for the Rich

In addition to clipping the coupons I always enjoy reading the Sunday newspapers. This Sunday the following headline from the St Petersburg Times caught my eye:

No Longer King, Queen, of their Castle

This family made all their riches in the building trade when it was booming. The husband probably did a lot of the work on their staggering 7000 square-foot home with some help, but they still had a mortgage, RV, boat, pool table, golf cart, etc. They weren't keeping up with the Joneses. They were the Joneses. Anyone with half an an eye for furniture can see the pieces in the background of the video and know that money was no object when they were sprucing up their nest. Of course his business was bringing in three to five million in better times.

Now he gets to work every other week or so and they still own too much in property to qualify for food stamps. In order to try to keep their house, they retreated to just a few rooms, and rented as many rooms as they could. They still may not be able to keep their house.

They must have never heard the phrase, "Live simply so others may simply live." After all, she paid $14,000.00 for the front doors alone. Another $10,000.00 went towards curtains.

I can understand their pain. They are letting strangers live in their home just so they can afford food and electricity, for the work is gone. Their daughters have to share bedrooms for the first time. Coming down from a three million a year business to wanting public assistance must be quite a blow to them. However, the poor person in me is wondering how they could see such lavishness as a necessity. I also wonder how they plowed through their savings so quickly.

It's weird this brief glimpse into another way of life. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I could never see myself spending $20,000.00 on a piano, or needing all of the play toys that they had.

The economy is rough for everyone to some degree. From what I've read about the Depression the very poor were sometimes better off than the newly poor, because they already knew how to survive with a lack of money. It proves true with our recession to some extent too.

I know of people in my own poor neighborhood who once made their living in the building trade. Some collect unemployment, some keep afloat with odd jobs, and some have carved dinky apartments out of their already small homes to rent to others who are even worse off. One of these apartments I saw was no bigger than a walk-in closet, but the extra $50 a week was sorely needed by the out of work painter.

I hope this family learns some frugal skills, and pull through this trying time as better people. While I can find empathy for them as this is a real ordeal they are experiencing, I also see many ways in which they may have made poor decisions.

There are many news articles lately about the rich, or formerly rich, who feel impoverished. Some readers may become angry, while others understand. I want to bring these people into my home, serve them a dinner of salad, vegetable lasagna, or roasted chicken and homemade rolls. We can eat at my card table which serves as my formal dining room table in my dining room which is also my kitchen. After dinner I can share a few recipes from my cookbooks (bought used) from my bookcase (handmade, yet still serving the same purpose as their $3,700.00 bookcase.) We could talk of several subjects. I could try to convince them to give up a few cell phones. Are you sure every member of your family has to have one? Before they leave I can show them my budget and let them know that they can survive on less. Really, it's not as bad as you think.

What's your initial reaction to the story? Empathy, anger, astonishment, or something else entirely?

Welcome Back Snowbirds!

This is a small town and not near the big travel destinations where you expect an upsurge in traffic during the winter. I never realized until I worked here what an impact the seasonally challenged retirees have on our local economy. Every summer our hours get dropped each week til it hurts. Snowbirds, how I have missed you!

Today, it was busier than usual. Large orders kept coming through the line. There were several two and three cart orders. It is the first of the month, which accounted for most of the traffic, however, Pennsylvania also came in to restock her kitchen and Michigan said she would be in the next day because she was certain she forgot several items. I was so glad to see them, I'm down to 24 hours this week!

I had a discussion with a coworker the other day. I complained about only having $1.65 in the bank after paying rent, but quickly added that I did have some savings for an emergency. She said all her savings were gone and her husband will be losing his job soon. This used to be her part time job for extra money. Her factory job died two years ago, now her husbands job is almost at an end too. She said their income dropped from $50,000 to $20.000. They say it's a recession, but it sure feels like a depression for those of us at the bottom.