Seeing is Believing

Georgia has always been a place I've traveled through on my way to someplace else. Besides a brief weekend in Atlanta with friends and a day trip to the zoo my impression of Georgia has been from images flashing by my car window and scents drifting through the vents.

Many parts of Georgia are very beautiful. I love the areas thick with large pine trees and red clay soil. Driving up the coast through Northern Florida and Southern Georgia has been unpleasant. I can't stand the sulphur smell. People from the area say they get used to it but I don't see how.

As a child riding in the back seat of my parents car I remember seeing a billboard for the Ku Klux Klan. It frightened me. Whenever I thought of Georgia for many years it conjured up images of the Klan and remembrances of sulphur scent.

I've been wanting to take off for a while but my kids need help now. No-one longs to move as much as I do, and I try to control my wanderlust.

I do these addictive internet searches for jobs, cost of living comparisons, and available housing. I find random spots based on available jobs and cost of living and start dreaming. I then irritate my family to no end. I tell them what the weather is doing in Oklahoma, or how much the average rent is in Oregon, or which stores are hiring in Ohio. Eldest daughter said she would like to move to Georgia or South Carolina. I researched both states and found an area in Georgia that had available jobs and fairly cheap rent. I needed a break quite badly at the same time and decided to check it out.

The get away was much needed. We rented a quiet cabin and it was nice despite the bee sting. We relaxed and fed the ducks.

I tried to ignore the swastika carved on the inside of the cabin door. Don't they check the place out and get rid of hateful graffiti. When I read the local paper I noticed that they pointed out the skin color of anyone that did wrong unless they were white. "An eighteen year old black woman" scratched a police officer. The fifty year old who was arrested for having a meth lab in his house was listed by name and age only.

We passed several homes with rebel flags flying in the front yard. One home had a sheriffs vehicle parked under the rebel flag. If I were a little braver I would have run down his driveway and knocked on his front door to let him know the war was over. My husband said that would be a very bad idea. I hate racism.

On our first night away my son moved back home temporarily. That was on my mind. Youngest daughter is going through great drama of her own. That was on my mind. I tried to relax.

At first we spent some time just driving down random roads. There were hills and trees and pretty homes out in the country. Flower beds were blooming, there was no sulphur smell at all, and it was slightly cooler than Florida. There were no rentals available right there on the drive, so we decided to collect the addresses of several homes in the area that we could afford.

I made a list, mapquested directions, and away we went. We were immediately depressed when we found that first one, after the second one we gave up altogether. the housing we could afford was in an area where ten out of twelve houses were boarded up, there were bars on the doors and windows of any businesses in the area, and we spotted four individuals openly dealing drugs on random corners.

We decided to leave a day early and check on youngest daughter on the way home. My worries are many now. We've decided that temporarily at least we cannot make a final decision on a move when all of our children need us. We have food and shelter for them, a soft place to land, but we do not have money to send when they get into a jam. We will be unable to help at all if we spend our savings on a move. As much as I want to go, I am not finished here. This darn motherhood, it never ends.

That's not to say if an opportunity presents itself we won't take it. I'm still searching. I feel like life is slipping by terribly fast and we are just treading water where we are. It was good to find out that Georgia wasn't quite what we were looking for before a move was made.

My Restless Spirit Endures a Setback

It feels terrible at times to be middle aged and have no idea what you want, or where you want to live. My mind is a constant whirlwind of longing, of wanting to drift from one place to another. That's one bright side of being poor. If you have a restless spirit you are not tied down to a career or a house.

I want to travel so badly I considered taking off a summer and tent camping across the country. My husband put an end to that when he said he could not survive in a tent for more than the occasional weekend. He did say he would consent to pare down our belongings and live in an RV so we could move frequently with little fuss.

We went over our tight budget and started looking at dealerships. There are so many styles to choose from. They kept showing us pricey models but we needed something much cheaper. We went over our income and our bills and decided what we could afford. We researched and thought of gas, propane, park fees when we would be in one place for several months, and tags and insurance as well. We knew what we could afford to spend. I will not overextend our budget.

We decided to visit one of the dealerships and fill out the preliminary paperwork. We were sure we would qualify, after all in three months we will be debt free. We had a small down payment saved up. They took the paperwork back to the owner so he could fax it in and he took one look at our income and said no way. He said our income was too low and the amount of rent we paid each month was too high. This was the cheapest house we could find when we moved to this area. They offered to sell us something much older than we wanted if we spent our entire emergency fund and maxed out our credit card for the rest. We said, "No thank you." and headed back to the drawing board.

Tent camping is out, and RVing is out, however I must move on. My wonderful understanding husband has agreed and he is still willing to pare down those belongings and MOVE! I don't know where we are going yet but I am so excited. I do know that I am looking for an area with better job opportunities. We are currently making the same yearly salary together that I once made by myself. We must boost the income while fulfilling my need to move. Does anyone have any favorite places or secret Utopias you want tell about?

The Last Straw

Could not sleep at all last night, tossed and turned for what seemed an eternity. I had to be up before the sun for a meeting. The rest of the day was mine. I chose to get all my chores done after the meeting so I can just relax this evening. I have a giant blister on my hand from vigorously steam cleaning the carpets. The dishes I ignored yesterday are done, as is the mopping. The bathroom really needed cleaning too. Enough is enough. It will have to wait one more day because I'm stopping here. Hey there are other people in this house perfectly capable of picking up a sponge and a mop bucket. (Not so subtle hint to grown kids. :)

Madam has not been feeling well. She is taking shorter walks and being sick more often. She has also had moments of confusion when she can't feel her way around the house like she use to. She is draped across my foot now resting after a short walk and a lunch of boneless chicken breasts and broccoli. It is so sad for me to watch her health get worse and see her age so rapidly. Another vet visit will be needed in a few weeks when we have the funds. I am dreading the possibility of bad news on that front.

Well, I'm certainly meandering about aimlessly today. My main thought today? It was actually said to the whole group at the meeting. "We need you to better plan your vacations in advance so we aren't left shorthanded." Um, vacation? VACATION???!!!! My father died. I'm so sorry, now that I know how you feel we will plan all family members deaths on weeks that are convenient for you and your corporation.

The job hunt starts Monday.