My Restless Spirit Endures a Setback

It feels terrible at times to be middle aged and have no idea what you want, or where you want to live. My mind is a constant whirlwind of longing, of wanting to drift from one place to another. That's one bright side of being poor. If you have a restless spirit you are not tied down to a career or a house.

I want to travel so badly I considered taking off a summer and tent camping across the country. My husband put an end to that when he said he could not survive in a tent for more than the occasional weekend. He did say he would consent to pare down our belongings and live in an RV so we could move frequently with little fuss.

We went over our tight budget and started looking at dealerships. There are so many styles to choose from. They kept showing us pricey models but we needed something much cheaper. We went over our income and our bills and decided what we could afford. We researched and thought of gas, propane, park fees when we would be in one place for several months, and tags and insurance as well. We knew what we could afford to spend. I will not overextend our budget.

We decided to visit one of the dealerships and fill out the preliminary paperwork. We were sure we would qualify, after all in three months we will be debt free. We had a small down payment saved up. They took the paperwork back to the owner so he could fax it in and he took one look at our income and said no way. He said our income was too low and the amount of rent we paid each month was too high. This was the cheapest house we could find when we moved to this area. They offered to sell us something much older than we wanted if we spent our entire emergency fund and maxed out our credit card for the rest. We said, "No thank you." and headed back to the drawing board.

Tent camping is out, and RVing is out, however I must move on. My wonderful understanding husband has agreed and he is still willing to pare down those belongings and MOVE! I don't know where we are going yet but I am so excited. I do know that I am looking for an area with better job opportunities. We are currently making the same yearly salary together that I once made by myself. We must boost the income while fulfilling my need to move. Does anyone have any favorite places or secret Utopias you want tell about?

Two Tales, One New, One Decades Old and Both Completely True

Strange things happen when you work with the public. Sometime managers are afraid to approach someone behaving oddly and they will ignore something that should be addressed. This is Florida and you have problems in this state with people shopping while improperly dressed. Many men will not understand why they must wear a shirt, and women decide to shop in a bikini sometimes. Last week a woman who was in her early seventies wore a bikini to do her grocery shopping. Many years ago I worked in another store where a woman who must have weighed three hundred pounds shopped in a bikini. A man walked proudly beside her grabbed hold of a roll and strutted up and down the aisles.

I heard of a new one today. A cashier called her manager to tell him a male customer just walked in the door wearing a shirt but no pants. NO PANTS at all! The managers response?.."Was he at least wearing shoes?" I guess it's true...as long as you wear your shirt and shoes...pants are optional.

A few decades ago there was a new department manager in a grocery store in another county. This store had a weekly problem with a customer who was pooping in the sink in the men's room. This new manager walked into the restroom one day to find an 86 year old man perched on the sink like a vulture in the act of squeezing out a number two. He told the store manager who had no idea what to do so they did nothing. It's a strange world.

A Cashiers Pet Peeves

1) Do not cut in line and pretend that you can't see those five people already in line.
2) Do not dump six handfuls of change on my counter and whistle the 1812 overture through your teeth while I count.
3) Do not talk to me while I am counting my drawer.
4) It needs repeating. DO NOT talk to me while I am counting my drawer.
5) Do not cuss at me.
6) Put you cell phone away for one minute. What are you a brain surgeon, going over a risky operation with your assistant? No you are just standing there holding up the line blah blah blah and having to rerun your credit card ten times because you can't concentrate on the correct button to push on the debit machine on YOUR side of the counter, and then you act as if it is my fault.
7) Shoes and shirt are required. Just draping a shirt across your shoulder is not actually wearing a shirt.
8) Please refrain from placing your hand into your pants when your nether regions itch.
9) If you haven't bathed for six months please tidy yourself up just a bit before you shop.
10) If you only have a set amount of money, please try to add up the cost of what you have in your cart before you get in line. I'd rather not ring up $200 worth of items only to find out you only have $50.

A Dose of True Reality

Let me start by saying I hate most reality shows. Give me actors and scripts and a plot any day. I don't want to watch people dividing into groups and plotting against each other to win a case of bananas, nor do I want to see twenty women dating one man at the same time, or people doing humiliating things to win the approval of a celebrity. Some shows may be entertaining but once the concept took off, you gotta admit they went too far. Now it is reality show after reality show on television.

I would like to see a follow up to the "Extreme Home Makeover Home Edition" show. You know the one where they take the rundown average home of the modest income family and bulldoze it to replace it with a mansion with a refrigerator the size of a walk in closet and a big screen TV in every room. After that first year when everything is paid for I want to see what the family does when faced with their first $800 electric bill. Does the family huddle in three rooms to save energy or do they start charging the neighborhood kids admission to use the go-cart track in the backyard?

There is another series of shows where they dress fat people in spandex and sports bras and yell at them. I watched one the other day. While oddly fascinating I could only handle about ten minutes of it. It's a very strange concept.

It was while pondering this show that I came up with an idea for a new show that may be helpful to us as a nation. They had a show where they picked people who may not have been able to afford cosmetic surgery and gave them nose jobs and new breasts and fixed their teeth. Let's get away from the vanity and just allow some people basic health care.

The show opens and you see a day in the life of a waitress, a taxi driver, a part-time bank teller, a temporary factory worker, and a cashier. You see the job they do and then catch a glimpse of their paycheck. They talk about their life at work and their aches and pains and what it is like to live their life, and then the interviewer surprises them with a trip to the hospital and complete health care. They get problems corrected, and learn what pains they have been ignoring out of necessity are symptoms of. Treatment is given to those on the show and America gets a glimpse of their neighbors lives and possibly gains a better understanding of how others get by.

We need a better understanding of the health care situation. We need more compassion, and perhaps a dose of reality.

"Use it up, Wear it Out, Make it do, or do Without."

My budget has been tightened down to frightening levels for a few years now. We have been so careful, sometimes we forget to make time for fun. We have worked so hard, always gone in when the job called, and for a long time (over a year) my husband was working six days a week. I long for free time and travel.

The reason for the tight budget now is a better financial future. We aren't nearly in as bad of debt as many Americans are. I guess that is one good thing about having a low paying job, you can't get as far into unnecessary consumer debt as others with better take home pay. We have been careful for years however we did make a few bad decisions in the past. I've been keeping track of our debt on my bill paying calendar, watching it shrink very slowly. I'm proud to say my student loan from way too long ago is finally paid off, along with a few smaller bills, and in five months I will be debt free.

We keep all of our household bills as low as possible. Showers are short, lights are off when not in use, and when the cable company raises their rates we call and complain and they reinstate the introductory pricing. A few months ago I discovered a program that helps with the grocery bill. My daughter told me about it and a few weeks later I read about it on blogsmonroe.com/budget/, and then I read a clip in my local paper about it. They do the purchasing for you in bulk at a discount, you pick the packages you want and order online or at a host site. There are no income restrictions so everyone can participate regardless of salary. They accept cash or food stamps in person or debit or credit online at angelfoodministries.com. Since I started this I don't spend as much time looking for sales. Each box has a variety of healthy foods and none of it has gone to waste. The products are fresh and in date and there is even a fruits and vegetables box. You have to be available one Saturday each month to pick up the food from your host site.

All of this meandering brings me to my latest confession. I hate peas. I have never been able to eat a pea in any dish. My husband laughs at me when he catches me scooping them out of my soup and dumping them in a little pile on my plate. I had two bags of peas and carrots in my freezer from the Angel Food box. My son said he could use one and that left me with one bag. It would be really silly of me to pick through the entire bag. I had to figure a way to use them without making my husband eat the entire bag himself. I got to thinking, was it the taste or the texture that grossed me out? I wasn't sure so I decided to experiment. I cooked the bag of peas and carrots with three cans of diced tomatoes that I had in the pantry. When everything was soft I mashed it with my potato masher. I skimmed the watery liquid from the top and continued mashing. It was an interesting experiment so far, smelled delicious, but when you stirred it the spoon stood straight up in it. I had a marinara style sauce in mind but it was turning into a brick. I went back to the pantry and found a can of spaghetti sauce that also came from Angel Food. I added this stirred and mashed and cooked some more. My weird kitchen experiment peas and all made the best spaghetti sauce. I will definitely make it again.

Choose Your Attitude

I work with the public, and I don't earn a fabulous salary doing my job. I put on my work face (a pleasant smile) each day and do what I need to do. The job is not difficult, and I have been doing some version of this sort of work for as long as I remember. Do I wish I was doing something else? Why certainly, quite often, but this is available and I know how to do it well. I really don't mind the job itself, there are several people that come through the line often and share their lives with you. You earn their confidences and share in their trials and triumphs. Often common ground is discovered and you bond in a way with your customers. Other customers are larger than life characters who earn nicknames that are never spoken aloud. A very few put the workers into a sheer terror when they enter the building. A few baggers know when to scatter if one customer enters. I actually hum the wicked witches theme song from "Wizard of Oz" under my breath when I see her. She must have Alzheimer's or something but she has called everyone that works there stupid and even loudly talked about how fat a worker was. Her poison does not end there she loudly criticises the customers in line in front of her as well. Many people have left their shopping and walked out so they didn't have to deal with her.

The other day I was finishing with one customer when one of my regulars walked by. My customer burst into laughter, wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and shook her head in disbelief and said "I am so sorry, but I could not do what you do. I could not handle this all day. I don't know how you do it!" The couple that shocked her so much was an elderly couple that comes in each week. She buys a small amount of groceries and he buys a few lottery tickets. The entire time they are in the store she is following him and criticizing him and telling him how stupid he is. She cusses loudly and walks up to every worker and tells them how stupid her husband is. She wants to make sure that no fault goes unnoticed by anyone. I make a point to remain pleasant with her and to be extra nice to him. I only endure them a few moments a week but they have each other for as long as they survive. I wish I had a magic wand to tap their foreheads with and make them happy.

You can survive in retail style jobs. First you have to learn financial skills that will enable you to survive on very low pay so you can avoid as much debt as possible. Next you must shield yourself from the negativity. The political style negativity of some work environments and coworkers and the personal negativity of your customers. If you can master these skills you can work anywhere.

Carrying on a Tradition

When I was writing my dad's obituary I kept reading what I had so far and asking for feedback from family. I wanted to make sure everyone was pleased with the final product. I said that he was thrifty but my niece said it wasn't enough and she fondly recalled tales of him showing up with ten cans of soup and four bottles of laundry detergent and giving it to a family member and saying, "I bought this for a quarter." She said he gave care packages to everyone in the family and friends and neighbors as well. He did this for me and for my brother but I didn't know he was the rebate king in Delaware as well. One of the neighbors who helped care for my dad towards the end said he went shopping with him a few times and he was very precise and organized ahead of time. While the neighbor would meander through the store my dad would go select what he planned to purchase and not look at anything else.

When my kids moved to their apartments recently I sent each one with a box of cleaning supplies and a box of food and a box of soaps and shampoos. They were happy not to have to spend as much on household stuff all at once.

My husband said I am carrying on the tradition. He really noticed it on my last shopping trip. It would have cost $95.00 but everything was on sale and I had coupons. It would have cost $45.00 but I also had a rebate. I ended up paying $19.73 for $95.00 worth of groceries and household items. It isn't always that extreme, but I never shop at full price. My average savings are at least 50% of the bill and often more than that.

In my younger (and less bright) days I thought this much effort was a waste of valuable time. I wish I would have learned this lesson earlier in life. Paying attention to the small details has enabled me to make a huge dent in my debt, to the point that I can see within a year possibly being 100% debt free. I can soon make some changes I've been contemplating. What would you do differently if you were 100% debt free?